06 September 2014

LITANY OF STUPID SAINTS


Proselytism is solemn nonsense, it makes no sense. We need to get to know each other, listen to each other and improve our knowledge of the world around us... This is important: to get to know people, listen, expand the circle of ideas.
                       Pope Francis (interview w/Eugenio Scalfari, La Repubblica, 1 October 2013)

Martyrdom of SS. Gabriel Lalemant and Jean de Brebeuf in 1649.

You see, ladies and gentlemen - look what happened to SS. Gabriel Lalemant and Jean de Brebeuf, those so-called "North American Martyrs", after they proselytized to the genteel Iroquois. They were tortured, stoned, scalped, mutilated with knives, their necks seared with "red hot" tomahawk collars, they received mock baptisms with boiling water, then burned at the stake. Good grief. You don't want this to happen to you, do you? Who were they to judge? Those stupid saints, they deserved to be slaughtered. Who cares that these "ideological Christians" were the vanguard of Catholics to spark the Faith in Canada, eventually to spread throughout North America. Why were they so critical of Indian paganism? It was "solemn nonsense" that they attempted to convert those noble savages. What a waste of time. Too bad Francis was not around in the seventeenth century. Otherwise, Gabe and Jean would have gotten to know the Iroquois, listened to them, then expanded the circle of their ideas. "Solemn nonsense" was Christ's command: "you, therefore, must go out, making disciples of all nations, and baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, teaching them to observe all the commandments which I have given you" (Matthew 28:19-20).

And what about this miserable "old maid"...
St. Teresa Benedicta (1891-1942)

Look at her - a "sourpuss", a "long-faced, mournful funeral Christian". That expression does not convey gravitas, of someone in deep mystical union with Christ, but - as Pope Francis tells us - just of a "religious [with] a heart as sour as vinegar". Who cares that St. Teresa was intellectually brilliant, a philosopher, doing her doctoral dissertation under the German phenomenologist Edmund Husserl. She dropped it all, including her Jewish religion, converted to Catholicism, then became a Carmelite nun. She even wrote an insipid book called Studies on John of the Cross: The Science of the Cross. Hilarious! And what did all of these eventually get her? Murdered in a gas chamber at a Nazi concentration camp. What a "sad Christian", what a "querulous and disillusioned pessimist", one of those "people without light  - real downers". Just another stupid saint.

Then there is St. Thérèse of Liseux, the so-called "Little Flower". Look at this corny, over-the-top image of the child Thérèse in prayer whilst on her mummy's lap...
That is so phoney and ridiculous. Instead, we should listen to Pope Francis so as to shun such portrayals of hypocrisy and inauthenticity. As he said: "they disguise themselves as good people: they make themselves up like little holy cards, looking up at heaven as they pray, making sure they are seen - they believe they are more righteous than others, they despise others". That's right, Holy Father, those Catholics hate everyone. Thank you for affirming aloud a thought that was running through my head for years. Now look below, even more of this idealized "little holy card" posturing by the "Little Flower"...
 
St. Thérèse Liseux (1873-1897)

What a stupid saint. Pope Francis smartly counsels us against such Catholic romanticism by reference to a discredited psychologist and charlatan: "Sigmund Freud used to say... that in every idealisation there is an attack". Awesome stuff, Holy Father, you must be reading Ron Rolheiser. And lest us not forget St. Therese's parents...
Bl. Marie-Azélie Martin (1832-1877) and Bl. Louis Martin (1823-1894)

Clearly, what we have here is "Mr. and Mrs. Whiner". Imagine those two at a party? How depressing. Wonder what the topic of conversation would have been? Devotion to the Sacred Heart? Proper protocol when confessing sins to a priest? Meatless Fridays? That they had five daughters who were all nuns? Too bad Zélie was not more outgoing, that she was so "afraid to dance, to cry, afraid of everything". Ah, the fun that would have been had, because she was so darn cute. Look closely, at her faux couture clothing, at her hair tightened into a constricting bun. Symbolic, yes? Of what, you ask? Answer: of her inwardist psychological repression desperately seeking relief. Notice that combined distressed goddess/naughty librarian look about her, which I find to be so magnetic, so sexy, so delicious. Nonetheless, thank goodness for His Holiness in that he warns us enlightened moderns that such "older people [were] nostalgic for structures and customs which are no longer life-giving in today’s world". We do not want that. Thus, with such profound Peronist insights we can confidently infer that Louis and Zélie were "starched Christians, too polite, who speak of theology calmly over tea". Borrrrrriiiinnnngggggg. Avoid such Catholics at all costs.

Here is yet another one of those stupid saints who "make themselves up like little holy cards, looking up at heaven as they pray". May I introduce to you...
St. Jean Marie Baptiste Vianney, the Curé D'Ars (1786-1859)

Ever read a hagiography on this buffoon? What pious baloney. Allegedly, his diet regimen consisted of only a potato a day and he regularly suffered from physical attacks by the Devil. He spent up to 18 hours per day in the confessional. Moreover, Vianney refused to give absolution if the penitent did not stop dancing when at the local tavern! What a "rigid Christian", "afraid to dance, to cry, afraid of everything". Using the Holy Father's most excellent example, we must remember that dance forms an important component of the liturgy, especially The Tango. Who cares that Vianney was responsible for thousands upon thousands of French Catholics returning to the Faith after the French Revolution's devastating assault upon the Catholic Church. Who cares that thousands of pilgrims from around the globe came to see him. Who cares that he performed miracles, or that he healed the sick, or that he could read souls instantaneously, or that he possessed Heaven-infused knowledge of the past and future. Look at him now, he's a "museum mummy"...
Now we come to perhaps the most stupidest type of saint in the litany of saints - that is, the "Rosary-bead counters". Perhaps the most famous of these types in recent times was Padre Pio...
 
St. Pio of Pietrelcina (1887-1968)

Often, did he recount the count of his beads. For example, "Today I said 32 or 33 rosaries. Maybe 1 or 2 more". Is that not funny? I want to laugh uproariously whenever reading such infantilism. But as Pope Francis wisely tells us, "it is not to laugh at". It's more than acceptable - indeed, it is laudatory -  in today's antinomian post-Conciliar climate to be smugly dismissive, condescending or insulting to those plebeian Catholics with their quaint devotions to the Most Holy Mother God.

So, then: to all you papalotrers, ultramontanists and Vatican II cultists out there, to all my beloved excuse mongers and deniers of the obvious and ignorers of the elephant in the room, to all you smiley face salesmen apologists and social justice Marxists, to all you pewsitter parasites populating the Magic Circle, hear me now: Let us never ever disremember those most sacred, dogmatic, Magisterial, Holy Spirit inspirited words of our pope:
The most serious of the evils that afflict the world these days are youth unemployment and the loneliness of the old... This, to me, is the most urgent problem that the Church is facing.
Amen. Amen.

 Viva la revolución !


H/T The Pope Francis Little Book of Insults

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19 comments:

Melinda said...

There is nothing holy, fatherly or Catholic about this guy. Not only does he refrain from defending the multitudes of Christians being persecuted in the world at this time, he seems to be joining in. He's good for nothing.

marylise said...

Dear Heresy Hunter: You really have a knack for clarifying the source of the anxiety in the hearts of Catholics who can hardly believe what is going on. We seem to be living on a perpetual diet of shock therapy. Under Benedict, especially during the last years of his reign, we thought the tide was slowly turning back. Benedict responded to the grace of office in spades, and -- whatever his earlier errors (which were huge) -- was growing more heroic with each minute of his papacy. It is amazing the way you manage to inject wit and humour into this type of discussion. Humour is a sign of hope. Thank you for your painstaking research. Each comment you make is backed up with facts, and anyone who has tried to write this way knows it is an arduous task.

voxcantor said...

I cannot agree more with this. It is a cross for many of us with a Catholic heart to see what is happening. On a daily basis, Jorge Bergoglio is a scandal. Even this week, he tells us in his daily homilies, that we need to be ready and accept more "change." He applauds and agrees with a comment by the Israeli President to form a "UN of Religion".well, Jorge, we know what this is. I have found it increasingly difficult to be silent about this "Bishop of Rome". History will be a harsh judge of this so-called "papacy".

Melinda said...

Each and every leader since Vat.II has lead the flock away from the original deposit of faith given to us by Christ and the Apostles. How can any man made by God, no matter what office they hold - think they are up to the task of making changes to the very things that were instituted by Christ? Do not be fooled by Benedict. He did not put things right.

From the start of these changes the Church lost its 4 marks, especially the Apostolic. This estsblishment in Rome bears no relation to it. St. Paul warned us about this happening to the Church and he told us what to do when it did.


Aloysius Gonzaga said...

Brilliant.

Veritas81 said...

Hmmm...Whatever happened to "the gates of hell will not prevail?" I bet Luther thought similarly when decided to do his own thing and not follow the pope.

Veritas81 said...

Nowhere in that diatribe did you approach anything resembling a coherent thought. I want the seven minutes of my life that it took me to read that, back

Christopher Wright said...

On the contrary, this is an excellent piece.

Brian Anderson said...

Vox


Francis belongs on the OECTA professional development day circuit, where chaotic and dissident ramblings flourish. Have you ever seen the Two Towers motion picture, the second, in the Lord of the Rings trilogy? There is a scene where the good wizard Gandalf approaches the half dead King of Rohan, who is under the spell of the evil wizard Sauromon, and Grima Wormtongue (a type of Modernist theologian advisor). When I first saw this film I immediately thought of our bishops being under a similar spell, the faith destroying and iconoclastic Spell of Vatican II. Francis and most of our bishops continue to drink this hemlock. I don't know what can possibly break this incantation. Perhaps an overwhelmingly God centered traditional liturgy would be a starting point? Maybe that is why Francis and his enforcer thugs are so hard on the Friars of the Immaculate.

Freyr said...

I remember a movie "The Keys of the Kingdom" with Gregory Peck. It talked about "rice Christians" in China whose conversion was dependent upon receiving an allotment of rice regularly. Conversions based upon free meals, school access, financial remuneration, social status or other worldly considerations are proselytism and should be discouraged. Apparently Pope Francis sees a difference between proselytism and evangelization that you do not?

Brian Anderson said...

Historically, the Church has understood proselytism, as "inducing people to join the Church by unfair methods", such as those you neatly listed. Such methods, of course, must be condemned. However, Francis gives every indication of using the word proselytism to also include evangelization and proper missionary activity, a missionary activity that respects the radical dignity of each person and fosters the operative dignity, again, of each person. Recently, in Korea, Francis presided at the canonization of some Korean martyrs. This would have been an excellent opportunity to distinguish, clearly, authentic missionary activity, from historical proselytism. It would seem that Francis was canonizing some men who were guilty of the the very proselytism he condemns. But there again Francis is a child of the Nouvelle Theologie, and what was OK yesteryear may not be OK today, a church and and a theology always in a state of pure becoming. The supreme law of the Church, going into, at least the 1960s, was the salvation of souls. Not so with Francis.

Boniface said...

Brian, a lot of people use that definition if proselytism, but its not exactly true. In Catholic tradition, proselytism meant the acts of other groups to win people over to a false religion; before Vatican II there has seldom been any distinction between "fair" and "unfair" methods of getting people to the Catholic Faith, aside from the fact that one can't use force. This goes back to St Paul saying that as long as Christ was preached, he did not care whether it was "in pretense or in truth."

You are right that Francis is redefining proselytism to mean missionary activity simplex. I urge you all to read this article which thoroughly examines the history of the word "proselytism" and how the post-Vatican 2 Church has redefined it.

http://www.unamsanctamcatholicam.com/theology/81-theology/469-proselytism-and-conversion.html

Aloysius Gonzaga said...

Anyone interested in starting a petition asking for Francis' resignation? It won't work but the message will be clear - his election was a mistake.

TH2 said...

Just wait until October with the synod. It's going to get worse, so hold on tight.

TH2 said...

Another classic commentary by Pater Ignotus.

TH2 said...

Yes, marylise, humour there must always be.

TH2 said...

Evidently, you lack knowledge of Church history/doctrine and what the saints said about troublesome popes.

Jim J. McCrea said...

The UN of religions should be the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church, teaching everything given by Jesus and the Apostles.
There is no real unity except in the truth.

Lola said...

So, what are we to do? What did the saints say about troublesome popes? Could you please make an upcoming post on what we are to do. Rosary, reading, revisiting the past saints and Scripture? What does the TH2 plan to do while we wait for this to blow over. This, might take a couple of centuries.
It's like having a CEO who has no idea of the company's purpose or mission and the patrons and staff watch as he runs it into the red. (I'm remembering in recent years JCP getting derailed by Ron Johnson. And this is just a place I buy towels.)

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